Moving On

Around this time last year, my mother was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. There was no cure and she decided against any treatment. In July, she came to our home for a night and never left until her death in September. Nothing prepares you for such a journey, but God gives you the strength, mercy and grace to get through it one day at a time.

Around the 1st of August, I heard a funny sound outside our kitchen door. I looked out and didn't see anything. A short while later, I heard it again. This time I stepped on to the porch and saw a wee kitten run into the garden and hide. She wouldn't come close but stayed around among the flowers by the kitchen door.

She even posed for a few pictures.

Within 24 hours, we were feeding her and trying to gain her trust. Everyone who came to our house started to look for her when they arrived. She would hang around the garden and porch and welcome all guests. At that time, nurses and aides were coming almost daily and Wee Kitten stole everyone's heart.

Pretty soon, our wee one had a name...Cindy Lou Who. She was on the porch when I arrived home from work and always made me smile when I saw her waiting. She gave us hope where there seemed to be none. She gave us something to look forward to as the sun set each evening because we were never sure what morning would bring. If she wasn't there, visitors would ask "Where's Cindy?" And I would assure them she would be along soon as she must be out playing in the field or exploring the world around her.

Summer turned to fall and my Mother's health continued to fail. On September 19th, my Mother's journey ended on earth and continued in Heaven. God was so gracious to her and to those around her. As sad as it was, there was such peace....and God promised that joy comes in the morning.

As we said our goodbyes and celebrated her life, the days became shorter and we started to settle into the cool autumn days. Getting back to normal wasn't easy as there is no normal as it once was.

We took a beautiful boat ride on the Erie Canal. We went back to work and started to move on.

On Halloween, we went to our daughter and son-in-laws house to see the Trick or Treaters and came home quite late. Cindy was waiting at the side porch. I let her in for a visit, just a visit...you see....we didn't want a cat, especially not an indoor cat. At 11:30 pm, I put her back outside and said "see you in the morning"...only in the morning, she was gone.

Gone

All of a sudden, the house was truly empty...and sadness settled in. But I wasn't grieving Cindy as much as I was grieving my Mother. I believe that God sent Cindy to try to fill the hole that would be in my heart and now I had to deal with that hole. But it never goes away...it just changes.

The following Saturday, My Guy went searching door to door looking for Cindy Lou. I had no hope he would find her. After all, a week had gone by. As I was sitting at the computer, I heard him come in the back door. I said "No Cindy, huh?" and he proceeded to put her down in front of me!

Turns out that when I put her outside on Halloween, she ran across the road as the neighbors came home. They said "Oh look! A black cat, at midnight, on Halloween...it must be a sign" and they took her in. My Guy brought her home and she has never been out since. She terrorizes us, as she still thinks she is a cat in the wild. But she makes us laugh, she brings us joy and she continues to be a sign of hope. She reminds us of a time when life was sad and God brought us through one more time. We can't change the past...we must move on.

In Memory

of

Jeanne Smith

August 4, 1927 - September 19, 2009